Today has been one of those messy days of grace for me.
My mindset has been fractured all day….. cracks were exposed in places of faith I previously thought were strong.
My emotions were fragile just enough to let me drift off to the abyss of pessimism.
Hindering oppressive thoughts drained into my soul….taking me back to long ago when I felt no grace.
I thought I was beyond the point of wandering back to the valley.
Somehow I stumbled right into a thicket of obscure dejection. I let man’s actions make me think I was less….unimportant….invisible.
Funny how the enemy knows what days the physical body ails….making it hard for the spiritual consciousness to keep up.
Today I felt as though I was a middle school girl being bullied all over again….bullied by life….bullied by another’s sin.
I am a child of the King…… why do I let the world hamstring my heart at times?
I know better!
How can we be on the spiritual mountain top for months only to be pushed off by the enemy in one short span of time?
There is shame in this weakness for me.
After all…I thought I had passed the faith test….bought the t-shirt…..walking bow legged from so much truth poured into my soul.
How did I let this happen?
I turned off the light way earlier than usual to sleep this melancholy hangover off. Tossing and turning side to side…. trying to get comfortable in my slumber.
I started to pray…..wrestling with words…as well as my comfort…..but I couldn’t find physical comfort…for my spirit was in battle.
Then I clearly hear HIM say…..
“Work it out in words child….tell me exactly what haunts your heart tonight.”
So I turn on the lamp…I reach for my lab top…and tell HIM just what a rotten day I had.
I tell HIM I am mad at myself for listening to the enemy’s lies.
I tell HIM I’m sorry I didn’t filter my mind….I didn’t fall back on the truth.
I tell HIM the pain I feel by hurtful actions and attitudes.
Immediately….I start to feel peace…slowly soaking up the bitter spew of GOD-less thoughts.
I literally can feel strength seeping back into my aching frame.
Truth is pulsating through my spiritual veins again!
I am an overcomer!
Regardless of what emotional lava that has spread over my mind today.
No matter what suppression man may fling my way….
No matter the landmines of doubt the enemy made no attempt to disguise….
HE has reminded me…..
“Greater is HE that is in me….than he that is in the world!”
The Living GOD is in me!
THE LIVING GOD IS IN ME!
And HE will fight my battles!
And soothe my wounds!
The Living God will go before me in all my steps….and tomorrow?
Well tomorrow will be another day…a new day….to take my stand in the truth of HIS faithful righteousness.
A new day to be “HIS” love…..even when I am unloved.
A new day to experience his mercies….for they are new every day.
“Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail.” Lamentations 3:22
Don’t let the world consume and beat you up my friend….
Don’t let the enemy exploit the fragile places of your heart.
Remember who you are….and whose you are!
For you are a child of the one true King…..JESUS CHRIST!
And you are an OVERCOMER!
Press on OVERCOMER!