“She Really Matters” #Fighting the tendency of favoritism and cliques


I felt invisible. I sat in a room full of chatty women, feeling out of place. Others were being greeted or engaged. I sat alone and unacknowledged. Regretting the decision to show up, I contemplated slipping out. No one would notice I surmised.

Introduce yourself, you’re not shy….my muddled mind reasoned. So I did, to the lady on my right and my left, and that’s as far as it went. Though this happened years ago in a professional business setting, I still remember that feeling of being all alone.

I left that event thinking women are catty. Had just one person smiled or included me, I wouldn’t have felt so dejected. I resolved that in the future, I would seek out the lonely soul in the crowded room and make her feel welcome, set her at ease, and make her feel special.

How do we get so caught up in ourselves that we can’t see the uneasiness or timidity of a sister? Why is our focus streamlined to bling and importance?  Why do we value some over others? Have we grown so insensitive?

I’ve often thought about the emotional damage that cliques can cause. When we advertise our girl’s night outings on Facebook, how does that make our sisters feel to know they weren’t invited? Is it possible God would want us to use discretion with our posts?

When committees are picked because of who we like to hang out with and not on the individual’s merits….how does that glorify God? When seeking to have relationships with only those who are highly respected or wealthy….how does that glorify God?

Over and over we see examples of Jesus reaching out to the outcasts, the lonely and the lowly. Repeatedly we see Him make the point that everyone matters and everyone has purpose. Even the little children were precious in Jesus’ eyes.

The bible gives us warning….

“But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers.” James 2:9

Plain and simple, when we show preference to certain people, we sin.

Job tells us….

gorgeous daisy field with shallow DOF during sunset (plenty of copy-space)

We are all created equally….and God loves us each as if we were His only creation.

We dishonor God and mar our influence by picking and choosing who we deem worthy of our attention or company.

It takes Godly character to refuse getting caught up in favoritism. It takes a desire to please God and a resolve to be different.

Being left out or overlooked tends to make one withdraw. Our actions must never cause a sister to withdraw from fellowship.

Flowering Meadow

In God’s economy, everyone matters.

We must never underestimate the burdens of a sister who just wants a place to belong.

A simple word of encouragement or a welcoming introduction can fill an empty emotional tank, sending that lone soul on a cruise of uplifting sentiments for days.

As Christians, our reputations will only be as Godly or ungodly as our actions.

Tell me friend, will you be the one in your group to make a sister feel like she really matters?

Does Satan Push Your Buttons? #thebattleforthemind

stone wall background

Fighting my sinful flesh is a battle many days.

I’ve been studying Romans 8 and God has been speaking to me about specific things in my life that Satan uses to push my buttons.

You see, we all have very vulnerable flesh patterns. We all struggle with different things that can pull us out of operating in the spirit…..and instead…operating in the flesh.

So as I looked at this over and over, it occurred to me that – first we got to get it through our minds – to remember that at salvation – the old self was crucified. (Romans 6:6)

Therefore the Holy Spirit lives in us…and seeks to fill (control) our entire person.

If I truly believe HE changed me at salvation – I will live like I believe it. I accept by FAITH….that the old self was crucified….and believing is half the battle my friend.

So here’s what it says in Romans…..

“Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires.”  Romans 8:5


Here is the key friends….hang with me here…..

Today….ask yourself….What’s your mind set on?

What is your focus on?

Is it things of the flesh that are occupying your mind?

The worries of the world? The fears? The secret places of pride that we can’t go to in our heads? Is it the love of material things? Is your focus something sexually impure ? Is it bitterness, pain, grief or a judge-mental attitude? Are you stuck in the past? Is there unforgiveness sleeping in your heart? Do you worry about what others think of you? Is it greed, jealousy or dishonesty?

To live independently of the Spirit means we operate in the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the boastful pride of life.

Be honest….

We all have different struggles…..God spoke to me about the desire for comfort, worry, doubt, and fear…..

Whatever your flesh struggle is…..you don’t have to live this way any longer.

We can’t operate in the Spirit when the enemy is controlling our minds….. that my friends is a stronghold.

Yea- good little Christian boys and girls can talk about how good God is, how faithful HE is, go to church or read the bible….. and then turn right around and walk in the flesh on a daily basis.

This is where the rubber hits the road. If we truly believe HE overcame absolutely everything wrong in us when we came to salvation….then we will operate in the Spirit….not the flesh.

So whats the solution? How do we apply this knowledge from here?

First – we confess. We confess every stinking, fleshly thing that is dominating our focus and our body.

Second – we accept that HE changed us by faith at salvation and we start desperately seeking the Holy Spirit on a minute by minute basis. Dig in the word of GOD and find all scriptures that pertain to your flesh bondage. Fall on your face and cry out to GOD for help to rely on the Spirit.

Third – When you fall….oh and you will….you get back up and repeat steps 1 and 2 and start again. You keep pushing and fighting for your focus to be saturated by the Holy Spirit! And before you know it…..you’ll fall less and less as you follow the Spirit constantly.

It takes will…it takes effort….but if we do….the Holy Spirit will help us do the rest.

So are we going to believe and “LIVE” like we are filled with the HOLY SPIRIT?

Or are we going to allow the enemy to control our minds by holding our flesh hostage to the things that push our buttons?

God gives us the free will to choose…flesh or Spirit.

Oh sweet Lord….help us choose wisely today and everyday.