“She Really Matters” #Fighting the tendency of favoritism and cliques

macylou

I felt invisible. I sat in a room full of chatty women, feeling out of place. Others were being greeted or engaged. I sat alone and unacknowledged. Regretting the decision to show up, I contemplated slipping out. No one would notice I surmised.

Introduce yourself, you’re not shy….my muddled mind reasoned. So I did, to the lady on my right and my left, and that’s as far as it went. Though this happened years ago in a professional business setting, I still remember that feeling of being all alone.

I left that event thinking women are catty. Had just one person smiled or included me, I wouldn’t have felt so dejected. I resolved that in the future, I would seek out the lonely soul in the crowded room and make her feel welcome, set her at ease, and make her feel special.

How do we get so caught up in ourselves that we can’t see the uneasiness or timidity of a sister? Why is our focus streamlined to bling and importance?  Why do we value some over others? Have we grown so insensitive?

I’ve often thought about the emotional damage that cliques can cause. When we advertise our girl’s night outings on Facebook, how does that make our sisters feel to know they weren’t invited? Is it possible God would want us to use discretion with our posts?

When committees are picked because of who we like to hang out with and not on the individual’s merits….how does that glorify God? When seeking to have relationships with only those who are highly respected or wealthy….how does that glorify God?

Over and over we see examples of Jesus reaching out to the outcasts, the lonely and the lowly. Repeatedly we see Him make the point that everyone matters and everyone has purpose. Even the little children were precious in Jesus’ eyes.

The bible gives us warning….

“But if you show favoritism, you sin and are convicted by the law as lawbreakers.” James 2:9

Plain and simple, when we show preference to certain people, we sin.

Job tells us….

gorgeous daisy field with shallow DOF during sunset (plenty of copy-space)

We are all created equally….and God loves us each as if we were His only creation.

We dishonor God and mar our influence by picking and choosing who we deem worthy of our attention or company.

It takes Godly character to refuse getting caught up in favoritism. It takes a desire to please God and a resolve to be different.

Being left out or overlooked tends to make one withdraw. Our actions must never cause a sister to withdraw from fellowship.

Flowering Meadow

In God’s economy, everyone matters.

We must never underestimate the burdens of a sister who just wants a place to belong.

A simple word of encouragement or a welcoming introduction can fill an empty emotional tank, sending that lone soul on a cruise of uplifting sentiments for days.

As Christians, our reputations will only be as Godly or ungodly as our actions.

Tell me friend, will you be the one in your group to make a sister feel like she really matters?

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12 thoughts on ““She Really Matters” #Fighting the tendency of favoritism and cliques

  1. I love what you wrote, It is such a blessing. I see this and it has happened to me many times. I often feel that the ones who need to here this message are blind to what they are like. I see this in my own church, however how do you tell the ones who are often in front of the whole congregation every week that they are the biggest offenders, the groups are the same,them and their friends run every program in the church and out ,yet they are blind when there is a conflict of interest. And when they post in group pictures , it comes off as bragging and appears they want to be portrayed as the most Holy. It is sad to see and I can’t help but feel God is not with them. I thank you for bringing this issue up that hurts all and giving the attention it deserves.

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    • I am sorry sweet girl. I so understand. I prayed a long time about posting this. I probably won’t be too popular but I don’t think I am anyway!! Lol All we can do is pray that they see how hurtful their actions are – and that we become sensitive to those around us that are feeling alone . And it does sting so to experience this – I know. Hang in there girl! God sees all! HE always comes back around to smooth out the rough bumps that bruise our hearts!😘😘😘

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  2. wow! I think you are peeking into my life. being a military wife for over 25 years i had often been the new person in situations. I can’t tell you how many times i have felt the same way, the outsider. For some reason it seems to hurt worse in a Christian environment. I often go and sit alone , wondering why I ever bothered to come. When my husband finally retired i thought we would finally settle into a church, that we would find one that would be like family. NOT so easy! Its crazy. I often wonder why I keep putting myself out there. I also have a son who is disabled, you want to talk about feeling like an outsider, I think that automatically puts 2 strikes against you. Of course that is an entirely bigger can of worms! Anyway, i just wanted to say thank you for saying what I often feel, and yet what I am too afraid to voice!

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  3. wow! I think you are peeking into my life. being a military wife for over 25 years i had often been the new person in situations. I can’t tell you how many times i have felt the same way, the outsider. For some reason it seems to hurt worse in a Christian environment. I often go and sit alone, wondering why I ever bothered to come. When my husband finally retired i thought we would finally settle into a church, that we would find one that would be like family. I also have a son who is disabled, you want to talk about feeling like an outsider, I think that automatically puts 2 strikes against you. Of course that is an entirely bigger can of worms! NOT so easy! Its crazy. Yet I do keep putting myself out there. I long and desire for connection, just like all women do. I have had to work through a lot of insecurities in this area. Now If i feel like if God wants me to go to an event, I will go. If i see another person who looks like she is feeling the same way I will go speak to her. If not, I am okay sitting quietly watching. I do want to thank you for saying what I , and a lot of women often feel. I often wonder what effect we would have on our communities if we would listen to the Holy Spirits guidance. I think we would find a lot less feeling like this.

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    • Yes sweet girl – it is not fun to experience being left out or ignored. I pray that you will find the ultimate connection with hearts that beat for GOD and want a friend like you! Thank you for reaching out to those who are in the same boat…GOD will honor and bless your in this kindness! Thank you so much for stopping by to share your heart! Blessings to you!!

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    • Thank you sweet Lily Lau! You bless me precious one! Thank you for stopping by! Please pray for me – soon lots of changes coming in September new website – blogging once a week and some other fun stuff! Have a blessed evening dear! 😘

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